from The Goo Goo Dolls. . .

Modern Rock Live:

Max:  If you have any questions for the Goo Goo Dolls, please call.
John:  (impersonating a caller) Hello? Hello?
Max:  Yes Caller?
John:  (impersonating caller) I'd like to ask where'd you get your name?
Robby:  Well son…
John:  (impersonating caller) Where'd you get your name?
Mike:  It's a long story and we can't go into it right now.
John:  (impersonating caller) Well thank you. I'm the idiot that has to call in and ask where you got your name seeing how it's been a hot topic for the past five years.


End Sessions, right before singing Broadway:

John:  This is um, this is a song about the neighborhood that I grew up in.  And all the uh, and all the weirdos in it.  Seriously, there was a guy, there was a guy from the old neighborhood that used to drink--used to drink salad dressing right out of the bottle.  
*Robby makes gulping noises*
John:  He did.  It was weird.
Robby:  He told them that toilet paper came in loaves.
John:  I believed him.
*insert cute Robby laughter here*
John:  One time, one time me and my friend were sitting on the porch of his house spitting popcorn though straws at like passing by cars and stuff.  Some of the popcorn spilled on the front lawn and his immigrant uncle came out and said, "Goddamn you kids!  Next ting you know, der's gonna be a popcron tree growin' der."
*more Robby laughter*
John:  I was like, "Popcorn tree?"  
Robby and John:  It's in Buffalo.


End Sessions, right before singing Iris:

John:  This song--is, is, uh I like this song but its sort of like, its sort of become like the trademark song of our band.  And it's kind of like, uh--
*someone from the audience speaks*
John:  Yeah!  Over played, that would, that's a start.  
*Robby laughs*
John:  Any more complaints?  Ladies, gentlemen, please.  We'll have a little Q&A now.  This guys complaining that it's overplayed and I'm about to play it again.  Any other things?  You don't like what key it's in?  You don't like the shirt I'm wearing?  Any thing else?
Robby:  (still laughing)  Would you like to sing it maybe?
John:  Yeah, would you like to come up and sing it?  If it's so overplayed do you remember all the words huh, tough guy?  
*Robby is really laughing now*
John:  Alright.  I thought everybody in Seattle was suppossed to be nice.  This wise-ass is like imported from somewhere back east.
Robby:  Aww man, alright.
John:  What's your name?  Max?  This song used to be called "Iris," today it's called. . ."Max."


from the Oxygen Channel:

Sim (audience member):  My question is as follows:  Mike, you are the man.  Why are you so quiet?  You have so much to say--
*insert lots of Robby and John laughter here*
Mike:  Because they talk so much I can never get a word in edge wise, you know?
Robby:  Ok, we're giving Mike an open floor, go ahead.
Mike:  (opens arms real wide and with a hugh smile)  See, I have absolutely nothing to say, that's the problem.


The Elephant Joke:

Mike:  What's the difference between an elephant and a bunch of grapes? *small pause*  They both have trunks, except the grapes.
John:  Please politely laugh.
Robby:  It's not funny.
Mike:  That's the funniest joke ever told. You guys just don't get it.


MTV 2Large Party Interview:

Norris:  Uh, the Sex Maggot question is the one that Thalia just asked.  She wants you guys to 'fess up as your confession for 2000.  Why the name change way back then?
John:  Cuz that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Robby: I confess that we drank too much back then.
John: It's stupid.
Norris:  Is that it?
John:  Can we make a confession?
Norris:  Sure any confessions you need to make, to get off your chest, we're here for that.
John:  One of us, one of us in our band, and I feel guilty about it, was driving on the highway next to Celine Dion's bus.
Norris:  Ah, yeah.
John:  And um, somebody in our band, (sadly) band pulled down his pants and pressed his ass against the window.
Norris:  Wow, wow.  And was there a reaction from Celine's crew?
John:  (quickly)  No.
Norris:  Really?
John:  (quickly)  No, no reaction.  None.
Norris:  And we're not gonna know which one of you did this?
John:  No.
Robby:  There was no reaction.
Norris:  I think Celine is in Montreal doing a big show tonight, you could give her a communal moon if you want.
*John acts like he is going to pull his pants down*
Norris:  No, no!


The Edge, Radio Show:

(talking about their Home for the Holidays concert)
John:  . . .Ten bucks and a bag of groceries to get into the show.  They'll be a hell of alot of entertainment.
Robby:  We're calling it like, "Home for the Holidays."  Because like--
John:  Cuz that's really original.
Robby:  Because like, because like it's the holidays and we're home.
Host:  Yeah that's really catchy.
John:  Yeah.
Robby:  Yeah, well that's what we figured, you know.
Host:  Excellent.
Robby:  A little play on like the, uh obvious.
Host:  You guys have an amazing publicist.


Home for the Holidays:

John:  So, I like made all these phone calls to people.  Like it was really funny because we kinda put it together with all the roadies for all these bands.  Cuz like, we don't have any rock star friends, but like we have alot of roadie friends.  
Host:  (laughs)  Right.
John:  So, uh, what we did was we called Brittney Speare's roadie and uh, we got a pair of her signed shoes.
Host:  No?!
John:  Yes!  
Robby:  So if anybody's got like a weird shoe thing, now this is a good time. . .
John:  Yeah, her signed shoes.  And let me tell ya, they smell like feet.
Robby:  Yeah, who knows what's gonna happen to those poor girl's shoes.
John:  I know, it's so gross.  But hey, it's for a good cause.


Ross the Intern Skit


from The Louisville Palace concert 5/22/03:

John:  This is my big purple guitar.  My big pur-ple guitar.  I'm gonna introduce the band to you now because they're fucking awesome.  On the guitar we got Greg Surran.  One the keyboards we got Jason Freese.  On the drums Mike Malinin.  On the bass and vocals for the last ten and more years, Robby Takac.
Robby:  Hey my friends!
John:  Wait a minute, wait a minute!  This is the part where I like walk away and then he introduces me so. . .
Robby: Alright, so here it goes. . . And I mean this from the bottom of my heart.  I've been to Kentucky a few times.
John:  You have.
Robby:  And every single time, it's been with this guy.  To the right of me-
John:  Sorry!  Sorry that I was with you every time.
Robby:  No, that's fine.
John:  Are you sure?
Robby:  It's nice.
John:  I got pissed at him because he didn't take me on his honeymoon.
Robby:  (laughs)  It's been a long time folks. . .On vocals--
John:  No, no, no man, that's ok.  Cause we gotta settle this shit about your wife.  I finally had it out with him one day and said, “That's the first bitch --,”
Robby:  Well, he got married -
John: I got married?!
Robby:  No check it out, this is real.  He got married and he's like, we were living together in some apartment and he's like. . .
John:  Not like that!  But we were living together. . .
Robby:  You know, we were living together like man lives in his truck!
John:  Yeah, we were like living together because we didn't want to live on the street, ok?
Robby:  That's how it was.  And uh, he got married and I said, “You know I'll be moving out.”  He's like, “No, you're not.”
John:  It's like, “Why? Why you gotta move out?!”
Robby:  I ain't moving out.
John:  “I don't want to be married without you!  What the hell is going on here?!”
Robby:  But I guess at some point ya gotta grow up and it's always weird isn't it?


from an interview by John Kennedy from Canada.com, Tuesday, April 11, 2006:

Kennedy: I Google'd "famous rock band + buffalo" today and the number one search result was buffalo.com. What does Google have against the Goo Goo Dolls?  (laughs)
John: They tried suing us but they only wanted half. I don't know.
Robby: We'll call our Web guy and ask him to get some new keywords in there.
Kennedy:  Who would win a street fight between the Goo Goo Dolls, Foo Fighters and the Pussycat Dolls?
John: Oh, Pussycat Dolls!
Robby: Pussycat Dolls.
Mike: Foo Fighters would come in last, though.
Robby: We couldn't punch (Pussycat Dolls) out because we were brought up that way so they'd scratch our eyeballs out and we'd run away.
John: I don't condone hitting women at all but when you grow up with four older sisters, you know where to hit a girl where you're not going to get in trouble for it. Phone book up against the head – bam! It rattles the brain and doesn't leave a bruise.
Kennedy: Rochester: Dumpy little city that only wishes it was half as cool as Buffalo? Discuss.
Robby: Interesting.
John: Their industrial base is falling apart because of the digital age, which is what happened to Buffalo 25 years ago with the steel and the oil and the auto manufacturing. The chemical industry is still there – ironically enough – but Rochester is a cool little town. It certainly doesn't have that rugged edge that Buffalo has. Like, let's go back to this: Who'd win in a fight - Buffalo or Rochester? Buffalo!
Kennedy: But I got punched in the face in Rochester and broke my jaw in two places.
John: Really? Must have been a guy from Buffalo in for the weekend.
Kennedy: Is it ever alright, under any circumstance, for a guy to play with dolls?
JR: Ah, yes. As long as they are not inflatable.
Kennedy: In your whole career, how many times have you seen: "Going ga-ga for Goo Goo Dolls" in a headline or article?
(laughs)
Robby: That's funny!
Mike: Too many. Over four.
John: You know why I think I have a great life? Because that's probably the biggest indignity that I've had to suffer in the past 10 years. I wish there were more creative writers, you know. Ga-ga for Goo Goo… thanks a lot, pal. There ain't enough liquor in this hotel to get that out of my mind.

*from VH1.com:

Johnny: It is annoying. I went to a Hollywood party with my girlfriend. It was like all these young Hollywood types. I walked in, went to the kitchen, got a beer, drank my beer and said, “I really gotta go.” She said, “C’mon, stay for a little while.” I’m like, “I gotta go.” I bolted out of the house and said, “Call me when you want me to pick you up. I just can’t stay here, man. These people are freakin’ my ass out.”

Mike: That happened to me once, too. I had to leave a party in Hollywood, because it was freaky. There were too many guys in bands standing in the same corner trying to out-cool each other.

Johnny: The parties where we grew up, you had four cases of beer sitting in a pile on the floor and everybody just stood in a circle …

Robby: … and watched them deplete!  --  on parties in CA






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